Good morning and thanks for stopping by. You know, I really am grateful that you do...especially with your busy schedules and everything else that must be going on in your lives.
It's funny, when we started doing these blogs about a year ago, I remember thinking "okay, I'll do it but I dont think anyone's going to read it". I mean, I bore myself sometimes...I didn't want to inflict that on you! I never thought anyone would find my thoughts or reflections interesting. but..low and behold...some of you started responding to some of my entries and it has grown from there. So...again..thank you...I love hearing from you and am grateful that you take the time.
This morning, Jamie and I were mentioning that it was National Do-over Day and were discussing some of the things in life(both good and bad) that we would love to have another crack at. I mentioned that I didn't have any regrets when it came to my romantic life which I realized later, wasn't exactly true.
I was cleaning out my junk drawer yesterday when I came across Oprah's monthly "What I know for Sure"column from a few years back. In it, she talks about finding a letter she'd never sent to a former boyfriend begging and pleading with him to come back to her. She goes on to say that she lit it on fire because she could now see so clearly that he "wasn't into her" and she just couldn't see it. She wanted to burn all evidence that she was ever that desperate for anyone....because she now knows what real love is...and it wasn't that.
I loved that article...I even cut it out and pinned it up on my bulletin board for the longest time. I have read it to myself on occasion to remind myself what the real thing should look like and I've read it to my friends when they've needed to hear it too. Blowing the dust off that article reminded me of a letter I had written but never sent to someone I was dating a long time ago. I went to find it because I was curious if to see if I would connect with the heartbroken person that wrote that letter so long ago. After some digging, I finally found it...unopened and thank the sweet Lord...never sent.
The positive thing about the letter is that I had moments of genuine amusement while reading it....there were even a few points in the tear-stained ode to my past love that I found myself saying "Wa Wa wa" out loud. I guess that I couldn't believe I felt all of that for someone that I now know.. wasn't who I thought he was. I even take responsiblility for putting this person up on a pedestal and idealizing them into someone they clearly weren't. How was he to know I expected so much of him...someone...when push came to shove...I didn't really know at all. I actually even found myself sympathizing...WITH HIM!
Although I am generally unable to hold a grudge for very long, I truly regret letting this one get the best of me, even for a little while. So, on National Do-Over Day, I cant really do-over the one thing I regret...what I can do is know better next time:)